A kittycornered categorie

"This is Schoppi. He --"

"Schoppi?"

"Short for Schoppenhauer. He gets antsy around people. Must have received some kicks from some before we found him."

Welcome to Kittycorner, the accidental orphanage for cats. Well, they are kittens when we adopt them, but they all grow up to be cats. Lovely cats, too.

"Look at Schoppi's side-whiskers, just like the muttonchops of his namesake. "

"Are they all named after philosophers?"

"Many are, but not all. That's Thoreau, he's a loner and doesn't mingle. Walks a lot."

"You must have felt like Blake adopting Thoreau."

"Yeah, I got the urge to write some essays and do woodcuts. [Laughs.] Ah, here's Pavarotti, look at his girth! His high-pitched meows will astound you."

"[Sings] ♪ Perhaps love is like-a boiled chicken, or a stuffed pair of mice... ♫"

"Haha, that was Placido who sang with John Denver, not Pavi. Anyway, aherm! -- Ladies and gentlemen, here's the Beatles!"

"Really? You've got four mopheads here?"

"No, it's Ed Sullivan. Here he comes. Move slowly, he startles easily. He hunches his back like he's always introducing someone."

"That's some hunch, shoulda named him Bruce Lee. WooO0ohhah!"

"That one in the corner is Bruce Lee. Looks like an upside-down 'U' walking, but can he leap!"

"Hey! Look at that one, he walks with a shuffle and swagger like..."

"Bruce Willis. I can almost see him smirk and make his pitch: 'That die-hard cat's a natural coz he's got nine lives!'"

"That one's nose is kinda huge. Now, let me guess... Durante!"

"Except that's the lady of the house, so it's La Streisand. She's a Ragdoll, soft as an easy chair."

"Wow! What a menagerie you've assembled here."

"Categorie."

"What?"

"Because of Streisand here, it cannot be called menagerie, you see? So I think Categorie fits nicely."

"A kittycornered categorie. Ok. And that cat in the hat is..."

"Theodor Geisel!"

"Huh? Whozzat?!"

"Hehe, just messin' with you, man. Yep, it's Dr. Seuss."